In my own world

injured my neck last wednesday, and had to get a neck brace from the urgent care, had to go to physical therapy.. and all these pain meds…it was REALLY bad, but i instantly forgot about all of it as soon i saw my crazy family…love them!

We don’t really get to decide who comes in our lives…sometimes we don’t get to decide who stays either. What we do get to decide is how we handle it when they leave, and how we take care of those that stay.

If i have to repeatedly tell myself not to get attached…that means I’m probably already attached.

Those sneakers you run your miles in everyday have tears and wears beyond repair and needs an immediate replacement….so you think. Each mark, tear, wear, dirt smudge, and hole tell a different story. Where you ran off to one day, the puddles you splashed over, the mountains you hiked, the parks you’ve ran through, the people they saw..you met. The frustration you let out on a fast run….or short jogs right before the gym…and light strolls after every heavy meal. They used to be a bright white, but now they’re black and brown. Those sneakers of yours have seen better days, sometimes worse. Sunny days and cloudy ones. Rain and storm. Snow and hail. Some foggy days, 6am in winter. Some humid days 3pm in the summer. They’ve been through a lot. And so have you….

Don’t give up…your heart is stronger than your shoes.

I’m stuck between being absolutely terrified of losing something I have and being grateful for having something I’m actually scared to lose…

that feeling when you do something small to help someone out, but they’re so over the top grateful that it makes you feel like you did something huge, and now you’re a hero. Well cool…call me batman.

Some people love openly, alot, all the time. Some people hold it all in, and burst with a kind of love you’ve never experienced before….some people love over time, which deepens, and blossoms… and some people love all at once, only to run out later.

I can love all at once, never running out, openly, all the time, holding some in, only to burst more later, it’ll grow, blossom, and increase at the rate and velocity faster than light and go beyond all laws of physics.

but I have no one to love like that. no one. 

What made sense the night before, doesn’t always make sense the next morning. 

Allah swt kept me away from certain people for a reason…always knew this, but I guess it took me a while to completely understand. Feels different, but feels right. Alhumdulliah. 

My sister in laws and I just went to starbucks and got really strong coffee, now we’re gonna stay up and have a marathon of tv shows. And then go to Sunnah conference part 2 tomorrow for a marathon of more lectures. IM GOING TO BE SO TIRED.

and probably cranky. 

but bonding time with these two, and awesome lectures from some amazing speakers= all worth it.