Don’t turn the lights off, don’t leave, don’t stop talking…I don’t want there to be silence.
I don’t enjoy complete silence. When everything else is quite, my mind starts talking. My brain starts remembering things. My heart starts to hurt again. When everything is quite, the voices in my head that try to talk all day become louder and louder, clearer and clearer. And its no longer quite…everything starts becoming louder than I can handle, and I slowly step into a circus of my own thoughts. No way to turn back, but to lay there and mope about all these worries. Destroying the silence slowly, filling it in with very loud…pain.
I pray for the day that someone else will end these silent yet loud thoughts with a “hey, everythings going to be okay” laying right next to me.
I pray for a day when I will no longer be alone with my thoughts, worries, and pain.
I pray for a day when I can scoot towards him, and hear his own heartbeats louder than my own thoughts…and forget about everything…the voices, the hurt, the memories.
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