That hazy moment….that 30 seconds to a minute where you have just woken up, and you’re in between trying to figure out what dream you just interrupted, and reality; what time is it? what day? wait…are you late for work? school? are you supposed to be somewhere right now? is it too early? shit…just go back to bed.
I cherish that moment in a different way. I immerse myself into complete haziness. I prolong it as long as I can…I don’t move on to reality until I’ve figured out my dreams. I stay under the covers…without wanting to know where I am…if the sun is really up, if I’m late, or if its still too early. Those few mins are all I get…my mind still not awake enough to start over-thinking and worrying, my heart still at rest so it stops hurting, my brain still hasn’t fully started functioning yet….so its just me…no pain, no stress, nothing. Just a hazy moment, under the covers, not thinking about anything kind of feeling. Its amazing.
Everything is really quiet right now. Softly quiet. light clicks from my typing. The soft noise of the fan. Sleepy murmur. No crickets tonight. No car noises. Not even the usual snoring from my cousins. I was texting a freind, but for 2 mins even the phone remained silent when he wasn’t texting back. As if the world all together decided to pause, breath, relax…and stay quiet.
Then i traced my fingers on a small bruise, rubbed harder, and gasped in pain…and the silence was interrupted.
A sister asked a question about procrastination when it comes to salah & not being able to focus during prayer; something many of us struggle with. This was the response and I found it to be very helpful & accurate. Definitely worth reading if you find yourself struggling with salah! Happy reading! :)
The Issue of Procrastionation: In its very essence, salah is meant to heal us and restore spiritual energy into our meditation. But seeing the way in which Muslims have a hard time struggling with salah, it seems as though it becomes more of a drainer of energy rather than the other way around. To understand salah in the Islamic school of thought, you will come to understand why many Muslims - not just you - procrastinate. Salah is a meeting with Allah (swt); that is what it is. Muhammad RasulAllah (saaw) used to stand all night in prayer and its almost quite shocking to believe this is true when we can’t even imagine our own selves praying the sunnah’s that come with our salah. Prayer is meant to extract the dunya from our thoughts. Prayer is meant to relieve us from the burden this world makes us carry. Prayer is meant for the soul to reach out into the hands (figuratively speaking) of Allah and lay its existence there. Prayer is meant to connect us with an entity that exists apart from this world. Salah is meant to keep us sane and stand firm in our position of believing in Allah. And when you find yourself procrastinating to pray, this should be an indication that your qalb (heart) isn’t in the hands of Allah (swt). This should be an indication that you haven’t surrendered your thoughts to Allah. This should remind you that: look, you’re placing your time and effort in the wrong place, think about where your time truly lies. And with that mindfulness, we find ourselves becoming aware of the salah’s and pray them on time.
Laziness and Motivation: Imam Zein al Abideen once said: if we knew the power of our sujood, we wouldn’t lift our heads off the ground. I think motivation needs to come from your own self. Because you need to need prayer. You need to want prayer. You need to be able to say: ya Allah, I am incapable of praying on my own, I need you to provide me strength. That needs to come from you. As long as you want to want it, Allah will provide you that strength to get up before sunrise and pray. Trust me on that. Laziness is a disease of the self in which we allow the satan that resided in our nafs to conquer a bit of our daily lives, or so I believe. I believe that Allah has created the Satan that used to worship Him (swt), but also there is a shaytan that resides in our nafs (the self) in which we become monsters if we let ourselves loose. We begin to destroy ourselves and lose all control of our life. And laziness is a part of that. You have to want to quit being lazy and wish to understand this religion. You need to be able to rise up when someone is saying something evil about Islam or Muhammad RasulAllah and say: no, please sit down, you are wrong. And once you begin finding yourself defending the religion you wish to follow, you become less lazy towards participating in the religion of Islam.
Being Focused and What to Think During Prayer: Understand Quran. Full stop. Really, that’s what its mainly about. If you find yourself having a hard time concentrating in salah, its probably because you understand little to nothing of what the verses of the Quran mean. You need to sit with yourself - start with small surahs like surah nas or surah asr - and read the translation. Say to yourself, I may have a hard time concentrating, but I’m going to give 45 seconds of my mind towards Allah when reading this surah. This life is a struggle. And salah is a struggle. To be completely submerged into salah is a rizq from Allah that only a few people possess (like Ali ibn abi Talib). And once you possess the power to think of nothing but what you are reciting during your salah, you become a true conquerer of your salah. Believe me when I tell you it most definitely isn’t easy to surrender your mind and fully focus on the Quran, but I remember a motivational quote by Ali ibn abi Talib that states: when I want to Allah to listen to me, I make dua. But when I want to listen to Allah, I read Quran. A powerful exemplification of the holiness of Quran.
“If you treat your Salaat like it’s just another task on your list of things to do, then that’s all it will ever be. However, if you treat your Salaat like it’s a meeting with your Lord, with the King of all kings, then inshaaAllah that is what it will feel like. And what better feeling can there be than meeting with the Creator of everything that exists?”—QuranicVerses (via quranicverses)
I can’t even properly describe everything i’m feeling right now. So many emotions, and thoughts…just a plethora of different feelings. Its simply impossible to be feeling this many emotions…so I’m just in a haze.
Sorry about the half assed blogging, I’m extremely busy with the weddings, family from out of state, and best friend from chicago. Things been hella hectic, so the lil time I get i sit here scroll and like things till I fall asleep haha. BUT SOON I’ll spam you guys with wedding photography, and stories and such iA. :)