My sister in law while speaking to cousin: babe, what would you do if Samia’s man (my husband) was fighting with her in front of you, huh? what would you do Cousin: I would punch him in the nose…no….I would fart on him, its gonna start smelling bad, then i would punch him in the nose…
Sister in law to my other cousin: EAT my rice pudding! Cousin: I’M ALLERGIC TO PINEAPPLES! Sister in law to her husband: MAKE HIM EAT MY RICE PUDDING!!
My aunt comes to stop me from cutting the can with a can opener, she stops me with her hand and I say… “you gave me the HAND?!”…she replies “At least I didn’t give you the finger”… uhhhhh
First time in 22 years, I'll be doing Eid without my parents...breaking my heart like no other.
Eid Mubarak everyone! Whether you’ll be celebrating it Tuesday or Wednesday, with new clothes or old, with lots of family or just two people, with lots of food, or just a date…be thankful that you will still be celebrating Inshallah. I may miss my parents, missed them all Ramadan, but I’m thankful for the 1000 people that showed up to our Masjid today, I’m thankful for uncles who won’t stand it for 2 mins If i’m hungry, I’m thankful for aunts who have done everything to make sure they can take care of me like my mom, I’m thankful for cousins who has always been there for me and always will, I’m thankful to have a family that makes sure i have new clothes, and my favorite dishes on Eid, and everything else I could possibly need. Not everyone is so lucky, so I’m thankful, only Allah has given me this, and he can take it away anytime…but I make dua everynight He doesn’t, and so should you for everything you have, given to you by Allah (SWT).
“Islam is not defined by its followers. Nor is it defined by those who do not follow the religion. It is not defined by my actions, nor is it defined by yours. Islam is defined by God. Islam is submission. It is not submission to society, nor to society’s norms or culture. It is submission to the One and True God. It is not submitting to His Creations; rather, fully submitting to God alone.”—
Epic fails: 27th night staying at the masjid edition
1. All the phone alarms going off…during dua…while everyone was crying.
2.getting both the Quran stolen.. ladies, if you wanna borrow the qurans just ASK, don’t just take it when i turn around.
3. getting the Quran stolen, and losing our place in it cuz they move our bookmark…well THANKS how kind of you to put me back several juz.
4. losing the other sandal…and finding it 10 miles away from the original place…I thought Irene was hiting up NEW YORK?
5. almost falling asleep during 3 hour tahazzud….in the sujood positon..
6. looking down in the men section (couldn’t help it, it was down time), and spotting one guy doing sit-ups, and another one that rolled out a yoga mat and did inappropriate stretching on it. um ya.
7. Men stealing all the chocolate cake. FORREALZ? do they not know women and their relationship with chocolate? despicable.
8. not going to the bathroom because I really didn’t want to wudu again.
9. leaving for a few mins, and coming back to see someone’s sleeping on our pillow…complete stranger, wasn’t even sitting around us..
10. being sleepy during Tahazzud, but completely wide awake upon reaching home.
p.s this was all in fun.. just some random stuff that happened, but we really did go for a night of worship, and it was, as always, the best night ever. I always wonder about all the women crying…but this time I cried with them, thinking about the children of somalia, the people of Palestine, syria, libya, etc etc…thinking about my parents, thinking about my family members that passed away…especially thinking about how much i might have sinned, but i’m still so blessed. Alhumdulliah, as Ramadan wraps up, I hope everyone was able to take full advantage, if not…you still have 3 days, make the most of it Inshallah. :)
When a building shakes in Washington, “earthquake” does not spring to mind.
Instead, as the magnitude 5.8 earthquake shook the capital on Tuesday, it sparked immediate fears of a terrorist attack for congressional staff members accustomed to repeated warnings about man-made threats.
Zach Cikanek, press secretary to Rep. Judy Biggert (R-Ill.), said he was in the Rayburn House Office Building when he felt shaking for about 60 seconds, then a “quick rumble that felt like a passing train, and then a pause.”
Just as he and his colleagues were getting up from their desks to investigate, they felt an “elevated tremor that raised everyone’s alarm bells,” Cikanek said.
For many, this was their first experience with an earthquake. And with the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks nearing, an earthquake was the last potential event on many Washingtonians’ minds.
“In D.C., when you feel the building rumble, the first thing that goes through your head is you get worried that this could be an act of terrorism,” Cikanek said. “Once people realized it was an earthquake, and more than likely over with, most people went through the evacuation procedure and went to their designated area.”
Capitol Police evacuated the complex and said it would remain inaccessible as structural engineers from the Architect of the Capitol surveyed the buildings. Garages were also closed, leaving staff and aides without their vehicles.
“At first we weren’t sure exactly what it was, but as we heard the Capitol Police officers and other staff shouting evacuation orders, we knew it was serious,” said congressional staffer Rachel Semmel, who fled without her keys or wallet. “For a brief moment during evacuation, it was very scary.”
At a Department of Motor Vehicles office in downtown Washington, “everybody started to shout and run for the door,” said a Capitol Hill staffer who was trying to resolve a traffic ticket during his lunch break. “When you live in D.C., you never know what to expect. That’s your first instinct -– the city’s going to get bombed or something. You just have images of Japan and I knew I didn’t want to be trapped in the DMV for days on end.”
Most lawmakers are away in August because Congress is on recess, but the Capitol and its surrounding office buildings remain a bustling place.
Some saw humor in the event.
“I’ve got a whole new view of the lyrics, ‘I feel the Earth move under my feet,’ ” joked Sharon Jenkins, spokeswoman for Rep. Bobby Rush (D-Ill.).
Budget analyst Stan Collender said he waited for the shaking to end, hailed a cab and went to his next meeting, which was held outside on the sidewalk.
“Of course, the earth only moves in Washington when Congress is out of session,” he quipped.
Senate Sergeant at Arms Terrance Gainer said that there was structural damage to some buildings in the Capitol complex and “a couple minor twisted ankles.”
“Aside from people being a little bit anxious and nervous,” most Capitol complex employees are fine, Gainer said.
Recounting notorious events in the modern era on Capitol Hill, Gainer, the chief law enforcement officer and executive officer of the Senate, noted: “We’ve had officers being murdered, incoming aircraft, the threat from 9/11, anthrax, Ricin — so this is a community very experienced at various man-made and natural threats.”
Personnel in the Office of the Attending Physician were treating minor injuries and the Capitol Police “have been very nicely on top of things,” Gainer said.
I hope you guys all make your Ghusl before Jumu3a prayers!
1151. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “When one of you comes to the Jumu’a, he should have a ghusl first.” [Agreed upon](Riyad as-salihin)
1152. Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Doing ghusl on the day of Jumu’a is obligatory for every male who has reached puberty.” [Agreed upon](Riyad as-salihin)
Make sure if you can, walk to the masjid if you are close enough. Make plenty of dua, be the first one in the masjid(Don’t even think of coming “right on time”),
1155. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who does ghusl on the day of Jumu’a, the same as for janaba, and then goes in the first part of the time, it is as if he has sacrificed a camel. If he goes in the second part of the time, it is as if he has sacrificed a cow. If he goes in the third part of the time, it is as if he has sacrificed a horned ram. If he goes in the fourth part of the time, it is as if he has sacrificed a hen. If he goes in the fifth part of the time, it is as if he has sacrificed an egg. When the Imam comes out, the angels settle down to listen to the reminder.” [Agreed upon](Riyad as-salihin)
No talking during the Khutbah.
6 Yahya related to me from Malik from Abu’z-Zinad from al-A’raj from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Even saying to your companion ‘Listen’ while the imam is giving the khutba on the day of Jumu’a, constitutes foolish chatter.”(Al-Muwatta of Imam Malik)
Oh, and smell good too!
19 Yahya related to me from Malik from Nafi’ that ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar would never go toJumu’a without wearing oil and perfume except when it was forbidden (i.e. when he was in ihram).(Riyad as-salihin)
Try not to step over anyone!
20 Yahya related to me from Malik from Nafi’ from ‘Abdullah ibn Abi Bakr ibn Hazm from whoever related it to him that Abu Hurayra used to say, “It is better for a man to pray on the surface of al-Harra (a rocky area in Madina) than for him to wait until the imam stands to give the khutba and then come and step over people’s necks.”(riyad as-salihin)
May Allah reward you all and may he accept our Ramadan and absolve us of all of our sins. May we all receive the blessings of Laylat al-Qadr and be amongst those of the night prayer! And may he accept our Jumu3a prayer!
Start sending your Salawat on the Prophet(SAW)
ALLAHUMMA SALLI ALA MUHAMMADIN WA ALA ALI MUHAMMADIN KAMA SALLAITA ALA IBRAHEEMA WA ALA ALI IBRAHEEMA INNAKA HAMEEDUM MAJEED
1158. Aws ibn Aws reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The best of your days is the day of Jumu’a, so do a lot of prayer on me during it. Your prayer is presented to me.’” [Abu Dawud](Riyad as-salihin)
and then after the prayer
1127. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, did not pray after Jumu’a until after he had left. He would pray two rak’ats in his house. [Muslim](riyad as-salihin)
I was reading something about du’a once, and the author was saying that often, we as humans, don’t take the time to make a good du’a because we figure that God is God and that He should know what we desire and need in our lives. Why should we have to take the time to ask for it? But with the help…
<p>good you removed Muslim from your bio :) Islam is a bunch of bullshit that I’d hope you’re finally above now</p>
Actually no. I am a muslim. Im actually going to buy a new quran right now. I took it out so anons would stop bothering me. Guess not. Islam is by far the most amazing religion. I was raised christan by my mother and when I grew older my father showed me islam and how beautiful it is. The world has never been so beautiful. Maybe you should consider it.
Its a lifestyle that teaches you good manners, how to build character, how to have a healthy eating habit, how to be stronger, who to trust, who not to trust, and what to do in times of distress. It is a lifestyle that will keep you away from all things not good for you, for Allah knows all, more than you or I. Its a lifestyle that should keep you away from alcohol and the next drunken mistake at some haram atmosphere aka college parties. It is a lifestyle that’ll lower your cholesterol, replenish your kidneys, clean your blood, strenghthen your muscles and organs, and keep you that much healthier during Ramadan. It is a lifestyle, that keeps you humble, thankful, fearful, and full of love. It is a lifestyle, that makes you cry out for those in need, pray for those that are suffering, and stay hopeful for those in your ummah that is opressed. It is a lifestyle that will teach you how to be patient, how to handle your anger, and how to be calm and at peace. It is a lifestyle that will force you to seek out knowledge, travel, and read so you become smarter, and more intellectual. It is a lifestyle that prevents you from lying, cheating, and being harmful. It is a lifestyle that will teach you how to be selfless, give charity, and help others in need. Its a lifestyle that will make you speak up, be an activist, make changes in the world, stop oppression, feed the hungry, and fight world wars for the sake of Allah. its a lifestyle you learn to live not just by looking at society, but by reading the Quran, and learning about the Prophets. Its a lifestyle that makes you want to be the best that you can be…and your role models aren’t just Selena Gomez, Angelina Jolie, or even your next door neighbor…this is a lifestyle where you’ve been given the examples of the greatest of the greaaatest people that has ever lived: The prophets, their families, and their friends.
Be thankful…this is the lifestyle, not of the rich and famous….but for people who are much wealthier than that..